How Do I Handle the Holidays

How Do I handle the holidays with my son in prison for a crime that he did not commit? The Holiday Season is a heartbreaking reminder of what my son is missing.

Picture of Columbia Correctional InstitutionWith 2 teenagers, a 21 year old and an 86 year old mother, I know I have to bring the Holiday Spirit to our home. It is so hard and I am so tired of pretending.

My 16 years old son requested that I decorate for Halloween. He said that the house is dreary enough and I have always decorated for the holidays.  He was very firm in his conviction and my heart went out to him. So, I decorated for Halloween and we had candy for the children. I smile and laughed and said all the appropriate things. However, in reality, I felt dead inside of my heart. Halloween was my incarcerated son’s favorite time of the year. I only want to do is cry and weep.                                  I am the true definition of the Walking Dead.

How Do I Handle the Holidays when my prodigal son will be spending his Holidays in prison. How do I handle the Holidays without going crazy. How Do I handle the Holidays when I know that his will be spent in a cell.

Thanksgiving is upon us and I have to find the mental strength to prepare Thanksgiving dinner. I have to find the mental strength to keep everyone’s hope alive.

It gets pretty exhausting putting up this happy face.

I feel so sad. I feel like I am in prison. If only I could get past this grief. If only I could stop crying. If only I could not thinking what could I have done differently. If only I didn’t want to just curl up in a ball and wither away. If only…..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s